New Blog =)

Dear Loyal readers and Dickfaces~

Since I have ended this blog on emotional terms, I have decided to start anew with my semi/barely good friend Court. She's Canadian, which makes her a little dumber than me, but she's still witty and funny as hell. Together we've started a new blog, "Two Points For Honesty" (Thank you Guster for the title...felt it was very appropriate). I have sort of forced Court into doing this (yes, me being thousands of miles away forced her into doing this), so if she does not post as often (or with the quality that a Mikey D Blogdiggity post had), bare with her. Afterall, she's Canadian =).

In all seriousness though, I love writing, and I was sad to end this blog. Like I told Court, this will be my "rebound blog". Court feels violated and used in a way, but strangely turned on at the same time. But I'm happy to still write, especially with a good person like Court. So come check us out at:

TWO POINTS FOR HONESTY
http://www.mikeandcourt.blogspot.com

The End

This is my last blog entry.

My baby is gone, and I all want is her back in my arms.

There are so many memories, and believe it or not, this blog was one of them. It's just too painful.

I miss my love. She was my everything.

Goodbye all.


~Mikey D

Let's Play Our Favorite Songs

Let's start off with a little update. Doing a little bit better today than yesterday. I've miraculously been able to keep my emotions in check today (so no crying pretty much). I know I'm being stupid about this whole thing. She's a beautiful young woman and guys are naturally going to hit on her- whether she's on a cruise ship or here at home. I'm just going to have to live with that. And it doesn't matter if she's dancing with other guys. She's just having fun, and at the end of the night, she's coming home to me (figuratively of course). At least that's what I'm telling myself for the time being. I know I'm jealous, envious, protective- whatever- but I don't want to attack her when she gets home, and I don't want to be completely miserable the next couple of days. That's no good for either of us. So that's where I am with that.

Today was a haircut day today. My hair was completely butchered during my last hair cut (uneven, not blended, and just plain sloppy), and my friend Jenna tried to fix it up best she could. Well it's been a month or so since then, and it's grown out a little and needed a little trim to fix it up completely. So out I went, for yet another haircut...

There was no way in hell that I was going back to the last place I went to. So I decided to go to "Excel", which is a cosmetology school. Jenna goes there, and so does Cori's sister Amy. I liked the way Jenna tried to fix my hair, and I thought I could trust her. Problem is that Jenna is off on the cruise with Cori. Bleah. So I went to Amy. Next best thing I thought.

So in I went. Their waiting room was really small, but their work area was huge. They must have had at least thirty "hair stations" (what would you call them?) people worked at. It was around 10:30 when I went in, and there were no other customers in this place. I suppose trusting your hair to newbies isn't that appealing to most people. So wait...why am I here again???

I requested Amy at the front desk, and immediately she came out from the back and gave me a big hug. I like Amy, she's always been really nice. So she leads me back to her hair station in the back. It's right in the middle of all the other stations, and as I take my seat I look around the rest of room.

At first it was like something out of a beginning of a wet dream I had when I was sixteen (that's a lie, I've never had one, but would be more than willing to), with ten pairs of female eyes all looking right at me (except in my dream they'd be looking lustfully). All of these cosmetology students, bored off their asses, were just sitting in their chairs staring at me. Are you getting a good mental picture? About 10 women, ages 18-24, just staring. Think of that show or movie 'Barbershop', except I'm the only one getting my hair cut, and there's nothing but women around me.

I was literally the center of attention. At this point I was liking my decision to get my haircut here. Perhaps this place might be worthy of a second visit someday =). Anyway, Amy introduced me as her sister's boyfriend, and to my surprise, most of them knew alllll about me. I guess that when cosmetology students get bored, they gossip. And Amy was very happy to gossip about Cori and I's relationship. Nothing bad of course. All the girls get telling me I was such a sweetheart, that the ring I got Cori was soooooooo pretty, and that they wished they had a boyfriend like me. Haha, yeah, I fucking blushed like a little school boy that blushes a lot.

"Is it real intimidating being surrounded by all of these girls watching you get your hair cut?" Amy asked.

Intimidating? Not so much. This seems to be the million dollar question for the week. I am actually becoming quite comfortable being surrounded by women and being the only guy in the room/building. Now was I getting embarrassed? Now that's a different question...

I guess while I was accepting my compliments, blushing, and carrying on idle chatter, Amy decided to spike my hair up in quite a silly fashion. You know what a peacock looks like? With its' feathers all spread out in the back? Yeah, she turned my head of hair into a peacock. It was all spiked out in the back, but nowhere else. Sigh. I went from prince charming to cosmetology clown. It's all good, I can handle a little teasing.

After that I wasn't as talkative. I became distracted with my peacock hairdo. What if I kept my hair like that all the time? Could I attract a real life peacock with my hair? What if I did? What if everywhere I went beautiful white peacocks kept chasing me and following me? Like I was a rockstar or something. I could get so much peacock tail it wouldn't even be funny. Peacock tail. Ha.

With all my thoughts focused on peacocks, Amy kept right on cutting my hair. I really liked that she took her time, made me feel comfortable, and even washed my hair extra-long (I like the head rubs!). She did a nice job. I still hate my haircut, but I can stand it this time. Oh, and I guess at cosmetology school they charge only $8 a haircut. Not too shabby. I was expecting to pay for a normal haircut, around $15. I just gave Amy a twenty, and called it good.

To all of those who've cut my hair before: There's a reason you didn't get 150% tips. One, you suck at cutting hair. Two, you make me feel uncomfortable. And three, you're not my girlfriend's sister. So to all other haircutters, I give you all, at the same time, a giant fuck you. I've found my new haircut place, and my new haircutter.


Okay, enough about haircuts. Went to the Guster concert last night at MSU. It was pretty good. Cori was on my mind a lot, and that kind of distracted me a little. But the music was spectacular, and the crowd was great. I love the college crowds. Everybody was dancing and singing along. That's the way it should be at Guster concerts. My only complaint was that they had everyone in chairs. The whole floor should have been open so everyone could stand close together. It's more personal and fun that way. Enhances the experience.

I was trying to compare last night's concert to the first one I ever saw. It's amazing how much they've come along in just a few years. Joe adds a whole other dimension to their music. New intros, extended versions of songs, and instruments. I like it. Listening to "Two Points for Honesty" with Joe's intro...just amazing. Last night did it for me. I now feel like Joe is an official member of Guster. I know he has been one for awhile, but it never felt like it till last night. Welcome to Guster Joe. Glad to have you.

Top Five songs Played Lastnight:
1) Two Points for Honesty
2) Great Escape
3) One Man Wrecking Machine
4) Barrel of a Gun
5) I Spy

My only problem with the concert has to be the opening guy, Andrew Bird. Uhhhh what the fuck? I think he played a 45 minute song with seven breaks throughout to accept applause. It was terrible. Every song sounded the same. I still don't know if he played a single instrument on stage. Was it all on tape? Who the fuck knows. Weird ass guy. And not good.

Okay, I'm out this bitch. I'll hollllllllllla at you cats later. Peace my nigggggggggggggggas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Mikey D


"Get out your cameras, tonight's the night to remember..."

One Sad Sammy

I cried today...

Bawled actually.

Complete and utter breakdown.

Kind of came out of left field, kinda didn't (again with those damn contradicitions!)

Cori called me today from her cruise. God I miss her so much. And, literally a minute into our conversation, I just started crying. Tear after tear. Uncontrollable crying. I could hardly talk to her it was so bad. I tried though.

"What's wrong?"
"I just miss you, that's all..."
"Baby, I miss you too...you know that, right?"

No I don't know that. You're in the carribean with four of your best friends, soaking up the sun, drinking yourselves stupid, and hitting the clubs everynight. This is the first fucking time I've heard from you all damn week (not her fault at all though).

"How's your trip going?"
"Great, I'm having a great time down here, it's been a lot of fun."
"That's good, what have you been doing?"
"Well we've been to a different island each day so far...so we just lay out on the beaches during the day and then go to the clubs at night. It's been a lot of fun, we've drank like every night together."

Am I jealous? You bet. I'm here, she's there. Everyday is something new for her; something exciting. Everyday is the same for me. I live in boring Lansing. Nothing ever changes- ever. I hate it so much here. This week has gone by slow for me, with no Cori and no subbing opportunities (kids are on spring break). I'm doing my best to stay busy and not go out of my fucking mind.

Hearing her tell me about the clubs...the drinking...and just hearing the overall happiness in the tone of her voice...they all just sent me over the edge. Jealous. Ha. Insanely jealous.

I wish I was there with her right now, enjoying every moment of her memorable vacation with her. Then there's every guy's worst nightmare when his woman is away- another guy will try and get with her. Do I trust Cori? Yes. Do I think she'd ever cheat on me? No. Not in a million years. It is just the thought of dirty drunk cabin boys trying to get with her that just repulses me. I hate the thought...

Cori comes home on Sunday. I thought about surprising her at the airport when she gets in, but I thought better of it. I don't want to seem like a smothering boyfriend I suppose. I know I would feel a little pathetic greeting her at the airport after I just cried to her for ten minutes on the phone today. Pathetic soul I am. I suppose I just miss my baby.

I want to be in a good mood when she comes back, but I have a feeling I won't be. I know, I know, if I tell myself I won't be in a good mood, well then I won't be. I kinda know how I operate, and how I know I'm going to react when I see her. Will I be happy she's back? Of course. I'll probably hug her till the stuffing comes out of her, Winnie the Pooh style. It's going to hurt me (for whatever reason) to hear all about her trip and all the fun times she had. It'll hurt because it'll seem to me that she had a better time without me (I guess I figured out the reason). All insecurities with myself I suppose. But you know what'll be the real kick to the groin? When she asks me how my week was. She'll ask me what I did, and I will invariably reply with the all too common guy response, "nothing".

And the thing is, I did do nothing. I went through another boring and normal week here in Lansing, Michigan. This whole place just depresses me now. I really hate being here, especially alone. I don't do much anymore. And when she asks me what I did this week, it will trigger nothing but depressive thoughts.

And the guy thing again. When she tells me about the clubs, I'll just think of other guys. Bad. Bad, bad, bad.

I know I shouldn't be this way, but I am. I wish I wasn't, but I really don't know how to fix myself. Cori is a wonderful woman who wouldn't do a damn thing to hurt me, so why do I feel so hurt inside all of the time? I just want to fix myself, and not be so jealous and depressed...but I don't know how...

I have to thank Stacey. She had perfect timing this afternoon when she dropped by our apartment. I literally cried on her shoulder. I felt stupid, but it was nice to have company and someone to talk to. My days get kind of lonely (especially this week), because I work at night and all. So thank you Stacey. Thanks for being a friend, and thanks for listening.

3 more days, I hope I can keep my shit together. And hopefully after that things will get back to normal. I know I still need to fix myself, but I guess I'll just have to work on that with time.

Okay, sorry this was a rather "downer" post, I promise I'll pick it up next time...maybe =). Hollllllllllllllllllllla bitches!


~Mikey D



"Even though this week will be tough, I will be back. Trust me, I can't wait to come back to Michigan- just to see you. I will be thinking of you all the time. I am going to miss you so much. I love you Mike. ~Cori"

I love you too Sunshine.

Color Me Tan

Well good Tuesday to all of you! Two blogs in two days?!?! Now I'm getting back into the swing of things. Vintage Mikey D, blogging multiple times a week instead of this once every few months crap. Yeah, I like it this way too =).

Today I went tanning. Not out by a pool, not out in natural sunlight...but at a real, fake tanning place (I like to ammuse myself with contradictions...if you haven't noticed by now). I decided to do it this morning after looking at my naked body in the bathroom mirror. After the initial "How the hell does a man get this skinny?" thought, I became utterly disgusted with how pale and, well, white I'd become. I made up my mind right then and there (and then later at the kitchen table after I talked myself out of going in the shower), that I, Mikey D, was going to go fake baking. Yes, I was going to suck up my pride, become a hypocrite, and get artificially bronzed.

I gathered all the shit my girlfriend left me (I mentioned it all in the last blog), and headed out. The place was called "Island Tanning". Amusing name if you think about it, because it is in a strip mall in downtown Lansing, very far from anything island-like. Anyway, I arrived a little after eleven, and after a few minutes of sitting in my car gathering myself, I headed in...

I guess that islands have a lot of palm trees and coconuts, because the decor at "Island Tanning" was tastefully done in such a manner that it made you feel like you were on an island. After a few seconds of trying to get my bearings straight in this foreign place, I was greeted with a laugh by a young lady behind a desk.

"You look lost," she said.
"I feel lost," I replied.

I told her I came for some "color," and that I was tired of seeing a pale white boy in the mirror and being repulsed. She thought that was sooooo funny. I think I stood there for a good ten seconds while she got all the giggles out of her. Anyway, she was quick to point out that I looked very uncomfortable. Duh.

"I can see why it's a little uncomfortable, being the only guy in here and all."

Actually getting quite used to that feeling. Another place where I'm the only guy there. Not exactly something I wasn't used to. She then proceeded to show me the different packages available for purchase. I scanned the page quickly, looking for something along the lines of "Get Fucking Tan", but couldn't find anything of the sort. The page was filled with things like 'Orbits' and 'High-Pressure Machines' and 'Island Beds'. Orbits? What does that have to do with an island? Anyway, like I had a damn clue what to get. The fact that I had now spent 10 minutes at the counter with Ms. Giggly McGiggle-A-Lot was making me feel even more uncomfortable.

"Give me whatever you think is best. I just want a little color to my skin, and nothing more."
"Well, then you probably want an Island Bed."
"Than give me an Island Bed."
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
"Hmmm...that's the one that's going to give me just a little color, right?"
"Yeah."
"And I did say that I wanted the one that was going to give me just a little color, right?"
"Yeah."
"Huh...well maybe I should keep looking at the others, eh?"

I can be such a sarcastic prick sometimes. I usually do it for my own amusement (Kevin, you taught me well), but this girl was loving it. She loved that I was being a sarcastic little bitch. It's actually quite refreshing to see someone not take things so personally. She knew she said something pretty obvious and stupid, and I just teased her a bit about it. She took it all in stride though, which was nice to see. Once again, however, I had to wait for all the giggles to get out. My bad.

So she began to set me up with my first ever tanning bed. She told me how to use it, which buttons to push, etc. etc. Stuff I needed to know. First timer and all. I finally kicked her out of my room and lathered myself in lotion that Cori gave me. I smelled of a cross between coconuts and the green apple jelly beans. I couldn't have felt any less like a man. It was at the point that all my mascculinity had vanished. Nearing tears from my personal self-loathing, I laid in the bed to "tan".

And you know what? It wasn't that bad. They had little fans blowing on me the whole time to keep my body cool. The little eye glasses Cori gave me made the light seem dim and faint. They even had a little head rest to keep me comfortable. I almost fell asleep. The whole experience was actually quite relaxing. I was completely and utterly surprised.

After dressing I headed out to pay. I didn't look any different than when I came in, but apparently you have to go a few days in a row to start to get the color. Grrrrrrrrrreat. Ms. Giggles tried to make me feel at ease though, and she gets a gold star for trying to do so.

"Don't feel weird, I know a guy who comes and tans here all the time."
"Yeah, and is he gay?"
"No, he's my fiance'."

Oops. Stupid mouth. So that was my first trip to "Island Sun". A little uncomfortable, but not too bad. I am officially "one of those" people who do the fake-baking thing. I can't really see myself doing it for more than this week though. Not gonna turn myself orange or anything. Just a few times to get my color, that's all. I promise. A man always has his limits. Now if I could just figure out what mine are...


So tomorrow my girlfriend's parents are dropping off their two little dogs with me while they go on vacation for a couple of days. I am officially a pet-sitter. They are two little Jack Russels. I'm not really a dog person, much more of a cat guy, but these little pups are okay. They're fun to play around with and such. I don't think they'll be too much of a problem. I'm excited to have pets though, even if it is for just a couple of days (thank you Adam). Not used to the whole walking-the-dog thing, but it can't be that bad though. No way in hell I'm picking up their poop though. I'll make them eat it before I pick it up. Damn straight.


What's in my CD Player right now that should be in yours:
(Illegaly download this shit folks, you'll love it!!!...or at least I'll love you for having it in your music collection.)

October Fall- In Spite of Everything
October Fall- 88 Keys and My Broken Strings
David Kitt- Dancing in the Moonlight
David Kitt- Another Love Song
American Eyes- Knife Fight With a Girl
David Melillo- Knights of the Island Counter
John Ralston- Gone Gone Goner
John Ralston- Keep Me
Cute is What We Aim For- Lyrical Lies
Guster- One Man Wrecking Machine


Okay, wrapping this shit up. Holllllllllllllla at you bitches later. Peace.

~Mikey D


"Sex is a good thing. Someday I hope to do it again."

The Teacher Who Had a Penis

"I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!"

Rap lyric courtesy of Terrel Owens' new rap song. He says that a lot. I think he's back or something. Back doing his job as a professional football player. Sports are a funny business, aren't they? You make millions, act like a jackass, basically get kicked out for a year (so you can party and vacation in exotic locations...and make shitty rap songs), then get with a new team and make millions more. Now if I acted the way T.O. did, being a teacher and all, I'm pretty sure things wouldn't turn out quite as good as they did for lucky T.O. For one, people in the education community would laugh at my demand for "guaranteed millions". Two, educators would not really appreciate my rap song that would rip on students and faculty alike. What would it sound like you ask? Probably very bad, with a lot of "fuck you first graders" and "Yeah Mrs. Swanson likes to swallow my cums" and the such. I'd have a catchy chorus though. You know that rap song "Poppin' my collar"? You know, where they repeat "Poppin' my collar" over and over and over again and call it a hit song? Well I'd just change the lyrics around to "Poppin' some cherries" and put that down as my chorus...... WHOA KIDDING!!! Kick back folks, that was just a tasteless and uncalled for joke. Oh Peter, that's dirty. Yeah, yeah, that's wrong, I know. Eh. Anyway, the T.O. thing definitely wouldn't work out for me. After all that, I doubt I'd be getting a teaching job anywhere. Yep, yep. So props to you T.O., you've found a profession that allows you to act more immature, more greedy, and more stupid than any in the world. At least you can be yourself.

So yes, sorry for the long break from the blogging. Just haven't been in the writing mood really. Just needed a break I suppose. But I'm back, and I'm ready to go.

For the first topic of business, I'd like to talk about teaching. I don't know if this will turn into a rant, or what, but I'd just like to get some thoughts out. So I am a male, as most of you know or wish I was more of (what?), and I am in a profession that is dominated by females. Absolutely, positively, 100% owned by women. There are few men that teach at the elementary level. I will be one of them eventually (and hopefully).

So what's wrong with being a guy in a female dominated industry? Well I know Joe Schmo the Frat Guy (great name) is saying that nothing could be wrong with that. Tons of women around, and only I being the object of their desire (unless they're into women, or they don't like skinny guys, or me in general...). The thing is it's not that great actually. Think about a girl playing sports on a guys team. It's just different. Something seems out of place. The guys will accept her as a teammate, but will she ever be "one of the guys"? It's virtually impossible to believe she will. Guys and girls are just different. She can't always hang and act and be with the boys when she's not one.

That's the way I feel sometimes with teaching- okay a lot of the time. I feel like I have to prove myself to other (female) teachers to show them I CAN teach at the elementary level. It doesn't seem right, but it's the way it is. I'm going to use Sylvan for my example. For those of you who don't know, Sylvan tutors kids mostly in reading and math after school. There are 5 or 6 tables with 2-3 students at each getting help from us teachers. I am the only male teacher employed. Where's my table in the room? In the very back of the room. In the corner. Okay, really no big deal. No reflection on my teaching whatsoever (at least I hope). Still depressing though. Anyway, everyday I walk in and I NEVER get greeted- by anyone. I'm always the one saying hello to the boss, or good afternoon to my coworkers. Then I head to my corner. The thing is, I watch the rest of the teachers from my table in the back, and they are sooooo fucking friendly to each other that it makes me want to throw-up. Maybe they don't like me you say? I seriously have done nothing to make them not like me. Kill em' with kindness, that's what my mom always said. Well, that doesn't work. I'm the outcast there. I can't talk about babies, parenting techniques, soap operas, trashy romance novels, dessert making, etc. etc. I'm not invited into those conversations because I'm the boy. I'm on their team, but I'll never be "one of the girls". Get my drift?

So I try to be the best teacher I can be, so I can get noticed by the others. Sounds good, yeah? Well, I feel like I have been a great teacher. Kids are excited to be at my table. I get kids coming to me all the time saying, "thank you so much for helping me with such-and-such, I didn't understand it until you taught it to me." That feels good. I now get a comment like that at least once a day. But as far as getting noticed by the other female teachers??? No such luck.

So what though? Maybe they aren't supposed to being paying attention to me, but rather teaching instead. Good point. Except we have roaming teachers. They help out with problem students and help get materials needed for a table. These roaming teachers (female) also hand out tickets to us teachers. They are like a reward. When they see something good being done by a teacher, they give a ticket. A reward for good teaching! At the end of the month, there is a drawing held with all the tickets, and a prize is given to the winner. Everyday as us teachers file out, my female coworkers drop their tickets in the jar, while I just walk by it empty-handed. It's depressing, really it is. Do I do less of a job than them? No. Hell no. I get put in the back of the room, and I don't get much attention my entire time there. Now I'm not one that needs tickets to know that I'm a good teacher. I know I've helped kids. I know I've got their respect, and they enjoy working with me. When kids start to request to work with you and cheer loudly when they find out they're at your table, you know you're doing something right. But why don't the other teachers see that? I want to be noticed! So it's not so much the reassurance of being a good teacher, but rather just the fact that my coworkers respect and notice the work I do.

Today I got a ticket. I was so surprised and shocked when she handed it to me. I even showed it off to all the kids at my table (yes, that's how happy I was). Finally, some recognition. I was getting noticed. Maybe tomorrow they would actually greet me at the door, ask me about my day, and in turn, I could ask them about theirs. I thought it was all coming around. Then I read the back of my ticket, which tells what good thing that roaming teacher noticed.

"For Mike, for showing up early today."

What?!?!

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

I show up early every fucking day. I am the first one of us teachers there everytime. Early? Fuck you! I came to the conclusion tonight that I don't think I'll ever be fully accepted into the teaching community (at the elementary level) like a female would. I can only hope at future jobs that other teachers at least treat me like a teammate, like a coworker. And if they do that, they will see that I am a good teacher, and really a nice guy. Perhaps a good friend. I just want a chance.


So my little lady is on a cruise right now. Getting all tan and shit. She's with four of her best girl friends enjoying the week in the carribean. Am I jealous? Well shit yeah! Goddamn, that was a stupid ass question! But as much as I wish I was with her, I wish she was here with me. I miss her so much. We've seen each other so much the last 8+ months that it feels totally weird not having her around for this long. It's like a part of me is missing...that sounded terribly cliche, I appologize. But it's kind of true. Sometimes I go through my days like a lost little puppy (cliche police, arrest me now). She comes back this coming Sunday. It will be soooo nice to get things back to normal. I hope she's having a good time though, and I do hope she's bringing me home lots and lots of presents. Is that greedy? Wrong of me to say? Eh, I don't care. I'm not going to lie. I would like to have a present from her trip. I don't care what the hell it is (preferably not a dildo, or any other sex toy for women or gay men), but just something that lets me know she was thinking of me. That would mean a lot to me =). What kind of gifts are unique to the carribean? The only thing I can think of is shells and water. Huh. I'm so uncultured. Eh.

Okay, so my baby was tanning (fake baking) before she left so she'd have a reasonable base tan so she wouldn't get burned easily being out in the sun so much. I disagree with the fake-baking thing, as I don't like the way it looks unnatural, and well, just plain fake. But my love did make some good points, as going to the caribbean white as a ghost wouldn't have been the best of things. She would have burnt to a crisp. So I understand the base tan thing I suppose. Before she left though, she proposed the idea that I, yes I, should go to the fake-bakers and get a tan of my own. She gave me her information to her account, her tanning lotion, and her little tanning eye glasses. That's kind of like asking a vegetarian to try a little steak. At first I was apalled that she would even suggest such a thing. I have so vehemently denounced fake baking in its entirety in the past. But the thing is, when she comes back from wayyyyyyyy down south, she's going to be soooo fucking dark. And yours truly? Think Casper covered in white out in a snow storm...but even whiter. Sigh. A living night and day couple we would be. Perhaps I should just get a base tan, and get a little color to my skin? Yes or no? Let me know what you think!

Okay, I've definitely chatted this one up. It has been awhile. I'm sure I'll be writing again real soon. Until then, holllllllllllllllllllllllllllllla bitches!

Mikey D


"You know what I want to know..."

My Morning

Well, pretty boring morning for me today, but I came across some interesting things. I was reading some comics this morning, and I stumbled across this one. It's not so much funny, as it is actually portraying a real-life situation.



As everyone knows, if you make a stupid-ass statement to a hot chick you get punched so hard that spit flies from your mouth, and the word "whack" actually appears out of thin air, so you can read that you are getting the shit kicked out of you WHILE you're getting the shit kicked out of you. Oh, and never diss '24'. Never.

I then went to check my email. One of my friends sent me this lovely picture. Apparently it is a rare Einstein photo, take a looksy...



Flattering to say the least. Apparently Einstein was a big fan of me. Can't blame him. Even the great ones aren't so great when stacked up next to me. And no, my ego isn't big at all. It's fucking huge.

After checking my email I made a trip to Barnes and Noble. I was checking out some of the new releases when I found the new 2006 Oxford American Dictionary. It was a little pricey, so I didn't buy it, but I flipped through it a bit, and found some curious things...



Perhaps a sign of things to come? It was nice to see the dictionary get a head start on things, but it's not even March! Silly, silly.

And the dictionary definitely got it right with this one...



I bow to you sir.


So then I went home and flipped on the television and watched a little bit of the news. Imagine my surprise when I saw this story:



I reported that shit 6 months ago, and now it's breaking news!?!? Fuck that. And yes, I am still demanding sex in return. It's only fair, right???




Ahhh shit, as you can see I was bored as fuck this morning. Peace out home skillets, I'll holllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllla!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Mikey D